Watched the movie Kancheevaram today - No doubt a super movie with a tragic ending or should I say an ending which is normal and not the happily ever after we are used to.
The film made me think about a lot of things - Love for our own Blood- The Pride in being young - the Compromises of old age- The Promises told many times over but never fulfilled - The Choice we make and the Sanity that keeps us in this mad mad world ...
Every person will at some point of time come to this tug of war between His own personal desires ,aspirations and The worldly expectations - We as human Beings- as man and woman play these games and decision and choices which make no sense when we are on our death bed - Will it really matter if I was a software engineer and had a huge bank balance - But will it also matter if I am poor and my children steal for food ? Where does the balance lie and what is this balance... where is sanity ?
We record histories- we salute heroes - We bury and respect the dead- We make the dead alive in so many stories to our children - during rituals in family occasions - During someone else's death - times when they become one among us -
For me its impossible to imagine my old age and death - I can only talk about it - be philosophical about it but may be when I lie to die I may realise how foolish I was -
Or who knows I may be proud about it - WHO KNOWS ?
I remember Gandhiji's Talisman which talks about recalling the weakest man in times of doubt and if it leads to freedom for him and many alike then all over doubts will melt away - I feel we ourselves are the weakest man whom we know best -
So when I am contemplating the next stage of my life- career, marriage,location, in other words all things that matter to me today will the weakest man in me understand and clear my doubts or is my death bed the better yardstick to compare?
Is the destination not as important as the journey ? why does it not matter what the destination is - Death is our destination - No matter how we make the journey we reach there - The peace in death lies in what journey we had before -
The balance lies as to what that peace is for each one of us.
I have no answers yet for my peace - as usual mind is so bogged down with emotions no practical tick list comes which I can say is a benchmark for me.I believe each one of us or atleast some of us are in the pursuit of that answer which will make us happy - will keep us happy even in death -
The irony is that our answer is only tested against one Question once in Life - During Death.
